emotional rollercoaster

Emotional Rollercoaster: MKE Week 22

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This past month has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Ups and downs, ins and outs, and sometimes feeling completely upside down were the norm. Questions, questions – I seem to be questioning everything I believed was true.

Why? Could it be that my birthday is coming up, and I’ve realized I’m entering what’s likely the last quarter of my lifespan? Am I doing what I really want? Why am I fighting procrastination?

Could it be that even after 5 months on this course I’m still not sure what is my true Heart’s Desire or Definite Main Purpose?

Last October I wrote my DMP, refined it and made it more descriptive with the help of my guide. It sounded right and clear. It felt good and it felt achievable.

 

I have learned about the unlimited innate power within each and every one of us, and that by visualizing and concentration, we have the ability to manifest whatever we truly desire.

But as I’ve grown along with the Master Key Course, I have experienced a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs.

Was I on the right track? I began to have questions.

  • How did I come up with the goals and desires that make up my Definite Main Purpose?
  • Do I feel strong uplifting emotion when I read it?
  • Or is it made up of should haves, ought to, and have to goals?
  • Do they challenge me to be better than I am now?
  • Have I created a DMP from my mind and not my heart?
  • How close have I come to achieving what I have set as goals?
  • Do those goals really thrill me?
  • Are they truly what I would love to have in my life that I don’t have now?

Enough questions – I need answers!

 

Getting off the Emotional Rollercoaster

My challenge to myself this week is to get off the emotional rollercoaster and clear on my True Heart’s Desire by asking myself some questions. I’ll keep digging and asking.

What are those clarity-seeking questions?

  • What is it that stirs my emotions when I think about it?
  • What would I like to have in my life that I don’t already have?
  • What did I used to do that made me happy that I don’t do now?
  • What would I like to do to help others?
  • What do I think about when I daydream about what I’d like to be, do or have?
  • What do I want from my spouse and children?

I’ll be doing a sit with each of these questions to find the answers. Then by asking myself how each answer would make me feel, those that are my most intense wants and desires should become clear.

Haanel tells us repeatedly that the key to manifesting is emotion:

“An intellectual understanding will be of no assistance; the emotions must be brought into action; thought without feeling is cold. The required combination is thought and feeling.”

Emotions as Tools

 
The last webinars with Mark and Davene focused on the negative emotions that are likely holding us back – fear, anger, unworthiness, guilt and hurt feelings. Are any of these emotions the ones that are holding me back? Some soul searching required!

We were shown how these five emotions may be turned on their heads and used to our advantage.

      • Fear gives me energy, focus and concentration that I can use to pursue a goal.
      • Anger is energizing – I can use that energy to take action.
      • If I feel unworthy, then I know I’m not on the right track for me, and I need to re-evaluate.
      • Feelings of guilt reveal my true moral compass, validate what I know is good and let me know the right actions.
      • My hurt feelings are a reminder to me of how much I care, and remind me that others may not agree with me, and that’s okay.

Now with these two sets of tools, I’m ready to challenge myself to get clear, get emotional and get off the emotional rollercoaster!

After all, I have a hero’s journey ahead of me.

Nicolette Goff

 

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13 comments
Robert E Harrison says March 2, 2017

Ho My Goodness, Nicki you are singing my song, in this blog. I feel all of the same emotions and uncertainties. It is great that you share this, as from reading your blogs I see another with the same issues. It calms my heart, to know. But please remember all those that did not make it to Week-22, you are strong and a hero. Cheers my friend.

Reply
    Nicki says March 3, 2017

    Thank you for the support, Robert. I’m hoping after I do the question exercise I’ll be much clearer on what I truly want.

    Reply
John Gatto says March 3, 2017

I know what your talking about , I’ve had many of the same things . I like what your going to do and I was thinking along the same lines ..So Lets Just Do This …

Reply
    Nicki says March 3, 2017

    Hi, John – yes, let’s do it! Those are questions that I need to answer. I’m glad it’s helping you as well! Thanks for reading and responding.

    Reply
Terry Neraasen says March 4, 2017

Holy smokes Nicki you packed a huge amount of thought and wisdom into this post. Those questions you asked of yourself are superb and usable by everyone. They are truly Spiritual Search Lights as Haanel says. You seem to be truly coming to grips with your reality. Bravo!

Reply
    Nicki says March 4, 2017

    Thanks for reading, Terry – as you can see I still have work to do! Have a wonderful weekend.

    Reply
Natalie says March 4, 2017

It’s comforting to know that others feel the same. I called it my “yo-yo” journey in Week 21. I am not sure if it is because we are close to the end of this MKMMA journey that fierce emotional churning is going on. I like your idea of the “sit” with each of those questions. We are here with you. Keep believing!

Reply
James Jowers says March 6, 2017

Nicki…answers….Ask, Believe and You Shall Receive.

Reply
    Nicki says March 6, 2017

    Yes, James, I’m asking the questions.
    Thank you for reading.

    Reply
Amanda pedro says March 9, 2017

Nicki,
Your post was so refreshing to read since I have also been experiencing similar emotional ups and downs. Your questions are extremely helpful! Thank you for sharing your doubts and feelings and good luck as you sort through it all!

Reply
    Nicki says March 9, 2017

    Hi, Amanda – thanks for reading! I think we all go through some of this as that old subby keeps trying to assert itself. The TUT message from today is inspiring, though: Adversity, challenges, and bumps in the road are often the first signs that a great healing has begun.

    Reply
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